


I Don't Want to Live Forever

by Omness



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Groundhog Day, Mentions of Death, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omness/pseuds/Omness
Summary: Corrin has been reliving the events of the three games over and over, whether she achieves peace or dies trying. Finally, she breaks and leaves everyone she knows behind.





	I Don't Want to Live Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [if you close your eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11041641) by [HappyCamper27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyCamper27/pseuds/HappyCamper27). 



> This is inspired and basically a sequel to HappyCamper27's story "if you close your eyes" which I highly suggest reading for added context to this story.

When Corrin wakes from the same dream in the Northern Fortress again she feels numb, too numb. Her part of the script comes out wrong, forced, and it draws concerning looks from her servants. Thankfully she's able to wave off their inquiries into her health by citing a particularly bad nightmare. When they finally leave her alone to get ready for the day she can literally feel the expression fall from her face as it goes blank.

She reaches inward for some kind of emotion, any kind of feeling, but there’s nothing.  ~~_ just the phantom pain of Xander stabbing her dragonform through the heart _ ~~ She feels no anger at her fate, no sadness at the pointlessness of her actions, no care that her siblings are waiting for her to start their sparring, just an overwhelming emptiness. The thought of trying to dredge up something for them, to pretend like everything is fine and everything is  _ normal _ leaves a bitter taste in her mouth, so she leaves.

She puts on her armor, grabs a sword and food for the road and leaves, just like that. From years of living in the Northern Fortress she knows everyone’s routine, she knows how to avoid Jakob, where she can walk so the guards won’t see her. When she’s in the kitchen the cook spots her, but they were never the type to ask questions, and her packing extra food for the day wasn’t uncommon enough to be remarked upon.

When she reaches what is considered the boundary of the Northern Fortress, there is no hesitation, no backward glance, Corrin keeps going. If her actions are meaningless, why even try? What’s the point of staying to make peace between countries if she’s going to have to do it again and again?  ~~_ andagainandagainandagainand _ ~~ She crosses a river and continues for about a mile before she doubles back and starts wading in the river, following its path south. The likelihood of her siblings using scent hounds to find her were low, but she rather put forth the effort to make sure they find her later rather than sooner.  ~~_ Hopefully they never find her at all _ ~~

The stones in the riverbed cut her feet, but Corrin ignores them, soon enough the cold of the water makes it so she can’t even feel them. Corrin can’t help but compare her freezing feet to the numbness of her heart.

After walking for what must have been half a day judging by the movement of the sun. ~~_time started to blur together sometime in the twentieth loop_~~ Corrin encounters another bridge and decides to get out of the water. She crosses the bridge and follows the path east until it curves back around to follow parallel to the river. Around nightfall she encounters an unused water mill and decides to stay there for the night, eating the food she had packed.

The next day she reaches a farming village, she asks around for anyone willing to give her some food and a night’s rest for a day’s worth of work. Despite needing food to live, her voice remains flat and her face expressionless. The people who meet her eyes shuffle uncomfortably and seem unable to answer her questions, stuttering and mixing their words. Finally, Corrin stops looking people in they eye and starts focusing on either foreheads, noses, or lips, this seems to help and allows her to find a farmer whose oldest son had recently broken an ankle and therefore could use an extra set of hands. 

The farmer’s family seemed wary of employing someone who looked like a warrior, but were desperate enough to get seeds planted that they hired her anyway. They relaxed as Corrin proved she had a decent amount of knowledge on farming ~~_how many times did she have the discussion with Mozu on farming? She lost count_~~ and was good at following directions. She stayed there for a few days, helping plant. The family tried to be welcoming and asked her questions about her life, especially the daughters who wanted to know about her hair, her skin, her eyes, but she only responded monosyllabically if at all.

When she left their sense of relief was almost palpable.

Corrin continued like that, wandering the Nohrian, and sometimes Hoshidan, countryside working for her supper when she could, paying with what coin she had from her pocket when she couldn’t. All the while, news of the war filtered to her ears. ~~_of course there was war, there was always war, even during the few times she tried to stop it before it started_~~ Queen Mikoto died. ~~_she could never stop that either, every time she tried it was always different, always_ _harsher_~~ And the royals fought over a princess that couldn’t be found.

The fighting ravaged the land, the two sides seeming equally matched, gaining ground only to lose the advantage. Finding impromptu work became harder and harder as people began saving what they could from invading armies that would take without asking and any stranger with a sword was suspicious.

Eventually, Corrin finds herself on a boat headed to Notre Sagesse. She has no plans, no ideas of what she would do once there, until she encounters the Rainbow Sage.

“Can you help me?” Her tone is neutral, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

The sage smiles in his usual wise and comforting way. “If you seek help, perhaps the Rainbow Sage at the top of...”

“I know this is a guise.” Corrin cuts him off. “I do not require power, I only want to know if you can end the cycle.”

“Very well.” The sage responds, the lines on the face of his disguise turning down to a frown. “Come and explain things at my house.”

At his house the Sage assumes his usual form and Corrin tells him everything,  _ everything,  _ every little path she took in the same neutral voice. It takes days, but she has nothing but time.

He takes it better than anyone else she’s told. His frown grows deeper, but nothing surprises or shocks him. Corrin supposes being such an old dragon nothing seems unexpected.

“I have not heard such a case as yours before.” The Rainbow Sage says at the end of it all, voice disturbed. Corrin only stares on, blankly. ~~_Another pointless effort_~~  “That does not mean there are no records of such a thing. I will do some research, I have some connections that most humans do not that could be of some help.”

Corrin nods in understanding and stands to leave.

“Wait.” The Sage calls out, Corrin stops. “You may remain until I find something if you so wish.”

Corrin sits back down, she has no place to be after all.  ~~_ It’s a two months until the light changes at the Bottomless Canyon, if she pushed she could gather some kind of fighting force _ ~~

She stays with the Rainbow Sage for a long time. He spends a lot of time with the people on  island, giving out healing and advice. When he asks, Corrin accompanies him, helping with minor tasks but the majority of her time is spent practicing her swordplay or staring out the window. 

The Rainbow Sage doesn’t discuss anything he finds in his research and Corrin never bothers to ask. When they dine together the Rainbow Sage often asks questions that Corrin hardly ever answers or tells stories or holds conversations with himself, responding as if she had spoken. He seems to be after something, but Corrin doesn’t know what nor does she care.

One day the Sage returns with a bouquet of purple flowers from one of his visits and something sparks in Corrin’s mind, causing her her body to curl in on itself.

~~_A memory of a field of purple flowers and a picnic with a family laughing and filled with happiness and no, don’t think about it, that time is gone, nonexistent._~~

Corrin clamps down on the pain and agony  _ and nostalgia _ , wrapping it tight and sealing it in a mental box and throwing away the key.

When she had managed to lock away her emotions and school her expression enough to focus on her surroundings Corrin finds the Sage staring at her with interest and hope, he holds out the flowers in offering.

“Would you like to keep them?”

“No!” The word comes out more forceful than intended.

The Sage frowns in disappointment. “Very well.”

 

More days and weeks pass with the Rainbow Sage quietly. War was a distant fear in Notre Sagesse. That is until Hinoka and a squad of Hoshidan warriors show up demanding to see the Rainbow Sage.

Corrin is following behind the Rainbow Sage with baskets full of foodstuffs and medicines picked up from market when they run into her. When she asks where she can find the Rainbow Sage he just smiles benevolently and tells her to head for Sevenfold Sanctuary. Corrin says nothing and watches Hinoka and her troupe head for the mountains.

Returning to the house, Corrin puts away the items they bought and goes out to do some exercises. When she comes back in there is a flash of light and Hinoka and her soldiers stand inside the house.

The Rainbow Sage congratulates Hinoka on passing through Sevenfold Sanctuary and introduces himself as the Rainbow Sage. Hinoka brushes that aside and starts insisting that he come with her so they can place him under Hoshidan protection as there are Nohrian soldiers on their way.

“Unnecessary.” The Rainbow Sage says as he strokes his beard. “I already have a bodyguard to keep me safe.” He points with his thumb to where Corrin still stands in the doorway, dripping with sweat.

Hinoka studies Corrin, there is no recognition, no tears at having found her sibling, and then turns back to the Sage. “You must be joking! One fighter won’t be enough to protect you from the Nohrians. Allow us to protect you!”  ~~_ Hinoka and Sakura are curled into each other crying, “I wasn’t... there… to protect them.” Hinoka sobs _ ~~

The Sage chuckles. “You’d be surprised. There is more than one reason she could keep me safe from them. But alas, that is not something for me to discuss. Go, Princess Hinoka, and know that you have been blessed by the Rainbow Sage.”

Hinoka stood her ground for several moments before sighing, “Alright. I trust in your wisdom Rainbow Sage. Men, let’s go.”

Corrin steps aside to let the warriors and Hinoka pass through the door. The Rainbow Sage elbows Corrin in the side and looks at her expectantly, but she continues to wait patiently as people leave. Hinoka is the last to go, and thanks the Rainbow Sage one last time.  _ I ~~’ll always support you, little sister~~ _

Hinoka’s warning is not entirely inaccurate. A few days later Leo and his retinue show up, not to fight, but to gain power like Xander and King Garon had.  ~~_ and Corrin, many many many times _ _ over _ ~~ He succeeds, a light flashes in the Sage’s one room house and a door appears from which Leo, Niles and Odin all come tumbling.

The spiel the Rainbow Sage gives Leo is much the same as the ones Corrin has heard before. ~~_power comes from within, but what’s the point of having power if it changes nothing?_~~ Leo is so absorbed in the conversation that he doesn’t notice the other person in the room until Niles grabs his face and points it in her direction.

“Niles! What are you-- Corrin?!” Leo exclaims.

Corrin shakes her head and says nothing.  ~~_ Explanations would mean nothing, only an insistence that what she described couldn’t be real and a in return there would be a fake smile with an “of course, you’re right.” _ ~~

Leo takes a few steps towards her and says, “Corrin, why? How? Where have-” when the Rainbow Sage smoothly places himself between them.

“Don’t mind her. She is my bodyguard and servant and doesn’t speak much. You should be on your way.” He says with a tone of command.

“Ah, sorry to intrude.” Leo says politely and with a small bow he leads Odin and Niles out, but stops at the exit. He turns to stare back at Corrin. She had cut her hair shortly after leaving the Northern Fortress, but it was unlikely that would be enough to have Leo thinking she was someone else. Even so, after a few moments, Leo turns around and leaves with his retainers.  ~~_ No orders to kill the Rainbow Sage? How  _ _ nice _ ~~

More time passes until the Rainbow Sage admits one day that he can find nothing useful about what is happening to her.

“From what I can tell your soul is bound tightly to this world and time.” He explains. “How to untangle it or if it’s even possible, I’m not entirely sure. I can continue looking but you may be better off searching for answers elsewhere.”

Corrin nods in understanding, and with no reason to stay, she packs her things in order to leave.

Before she goes the Rainbow Sage hands her a dragonstone as a parting gift, saying she may need all her strength in this time of war. His eyes are teary when he hands it to her and he seems truly sad to see her go.

For Corrin’s part, as she watches the waves crash against the ship, she thinks living the rest of a life with the Rainbow Sage wouldn’t be so bad. But years of living in a simple village could make her grow complacent, forget the curse she bears. So she moves on, not willing to test how much farther she can break.

The ship takes her to Izumo. She has no destination in mind, but lets her feet take her where they will. This finds her heading north through Hoshido and viewing the ravages of war upon the country she had once  ~~_ several, many times _ ~~ called home. From the hushed talk of people crowded together in taverns it seems like she’s following the trail of the Nohrian army.

Eventually she reaches the Hoshidan capital. From the fallen bodies that lay in the streets it seems she arrived not long after the Nohrians. Rather than head to Castle Shirasagi where her siblings and King Garon would be, she heads to the plaza where her mother had died.

Once there, she stops and stares at the Statue of the Dawn Dragon. Or at least, what remains of it.  ~~_The hooded figure would always attack but weaker, if she refused Gangliari_  ~~ At the top of what remains of the statue sits the Yato, point first into the stone. Corrin wasn’t sure how long she stood there watching the dull gleam of the blade when she noticed movement.

At the base of the broken statue sits a man wriggling in discomfort. At the familiar sight of him, Corrin finds her feet moving of their own accord.

At the sound of footsteps the man looks up, wary. His hand reaching for the slim black blade that lay beside him. When he sees who it is his eyes widen in surprise.

“Lady Corrin?” he gasps.

“Laslow.” Corrin acknowledged. “What are you doing here?”

Laslow goes from shock to flirty in less then a second. “Well, looking for lovely ladies of course!” He says with a wink. 

Corrin glanced around the quiet plaza, at corpses that were still fresh and the empty broken stalls, then shot a pointed look at Laslow.

Laslow’s smile turned pained. “You got me, that was just bravado.” He removed a hand from his stomach, revealing a hastily tied bandage that was soaked nearly crimson. “King Garon told Lord Xander to not waste a healer and leave me behind.”

Looking around again, Corrin spots a festal by a fallen priestess, she goes to pick it up and returns to Laslow’s side. She kneels and begins to heal, she may not be as skilled as Sakura or Elise, but she had learned a lot about healing over the loops.  ~~_ Sakura’s surprise when Corrin asked for lessons was one of the sweeter moments in the cycle of pain _ ~~

“Quite the lovely angel of mercy that as appeared before me! Have I died and gone to heaven to be greeted by such a gentle beauty?” Laslow mused.

Corrin shushes him and continued to focus on his abdomen, he would still have a sore wound, but he would not be in any danger.

“You have a lovely smile, Lady Corrin.” He says quietly.

Corrin looks up at him in shock, one hand reaching up to place her fingers on her lips. The smile was gone, but her cheeks were still sore from the unfamiliar action. She had not realized how much she missed his cheeky flirtations and his smile in the face of any adversary.  ~~_ There was one time he couldn’t manage it but that time, like many others, no longer existed _ ~~ Shaking her head, Corrin crushes those thoughts, fondness would get her nowhere.

Once she finishes, Corrin stands up. Laslow follows slowly, wincing as he stretches. “Thank you Milady, but I should return to Lord Xander. He will need all the help he can get.”

“Wait.” Corrin says, “I’ll come with you.”

Laslow waits patiently at the bottom of the statue as Corrin climbs it. She grabs Yato by the handle and pulls it out. The sword flashes once and Corrin feels like she’s holding a friend. She briefly wonders if the Yato has been repeating the loops with her then pushes that thought aside.

On the walk to Castle Shirasagi Laslow remains tense, sword drawn and eyes continually scanning the area for any pockets of surviving Hoshidan warriors or perhaps civilians with thoughts on revenge. Corrin walks like she’s taking a stroll. If someone managed to ambush them and kill her, it’s not like she would stop living.  ~~_ A ninja’s shuriken strikes her in the stomach and in the chaos of battle she is left behind to die slowly and painfully as the poisoned weapon does its work _ ~~

Once they reach the castle outskirts, Laslow speaks up. “You may wish to know that your Hoshidan siblings have been captured and are being held prisoner, with the exception of Ryoma. At least, when I was last with Lord Xander.”

Corrin stops and thinks for a moment, Laslow continues for a few steps before noticing and coming to a halt himself. “Milady?” he questions.

“Could you take me to them?” asks Corrin with the barest of inflections to make it a question.

Laslow shifted, “Um, wouldn’t it be better to visit them after the castle is taken?”

Corrin shakes her head. “No, we should see them now.”

At Corrin’s conviction, Laslow acquiesces to her request. He leads her to the prison carts that have been parked just within the castle walls. There are four pulled away from the rest. Within each of them contains a Hoshidan Royal that is bound and gagged. Ryoma looks dazed, probably from a concussion. Hinoka kneels in the middle of her cart and stares at them, wary and body tense. Sakura sits in the corner of hers, knees drawn up and head burrowed into them. Takumi struggles in his, blood slicked ankles and wrists a testament to how hard he’s been trying to escape his bonds.  ~~_ Her brothers were still alive, huh? Was she simply hated by Fate? _ ~~

“What happened to Azura?” Corrin asks as she takes in the sight of her siblings.

Laslow snaps to attention. “As a former Nohrian princess, she was allowed more lenient quarters.” His mouth tips up into a smile. “I personally think Lord Xander couldn’t resist her enchanting beauty.” ~~_Azura smiles sweetly as she tells Corrin that she and Xander are getting married_~~ At this, Hinoka sends him a dark glare.

Corrin nods in understanding then asks “Where are their weapons?”

Startled, Laslow spouts. “Their weapons, milady?”

“Yes, specifically Ryoma’s and Takumi’s.”

“I... believe they would be with the excess weaponry.” He answers hesitantly.

Corrin nods and goes to collect Fujin Yumi and Raijinto and slides them through the bars so they just barely touch their owners. At the contact, Ryoma gains enough focus to stare at Corrin in confusion. Takumi justs looks at her distrustfully.

“Lady Corrin, are you sure this is wise?” Laslow asks.  ~~_ Wise? She was never wise, her naivety had watered fields with blood and clogged rivers with the dead _ ~~

At the sound of her name all four of her siblings eyes jerk towards her with surprised looks, Hinoka sputters, trying to speak around her gag.

Corrin ignores them and pulls out the Yato, drawing gasps from several of her siblings, and rests it point first into the ground. 

“Big Brother Ryoma, Takumi, I need you to focus on the Yato and empty your mind of all else.” Corrin states. 

They both end up complying and Yato transforms into the Blazing Yato, which Corrin sheathes. She then takes Fujin Yumi and Raijinto and rests them outside of the carts. Without a farewell Corrin heads for the throne room, her siblings causing a commotion behind her.

Once they are out of earshot, Laslow asks uncertainly, “You’re not going to free them?”

“It would be more trouble than it’s worth.” Is her reply.

Laslow steps in front of Corrin with a hard look in his eyes, stopping her in her tracks. “I don’t mean to pry into a lady’s affairs, but what are you planning?”

Corrin focuses squarely between Laslow’s eyes.  ~~_ so often filled with kindness for other _ ~~ ~~s~~ “You said big brother Xander needs all the help he can get, so I am going to help.”

“Ah, I see.” Laslow responds, but the confusion on his face shows the truth. He lets Corrin pass him however, so she says nothing.

The doors to the throne room are slightly ajar and from it is a loud clanging sound and someone shouting, “Xander!” in worry. This causes Laslow to rush into the throne room while Corrin follows calmly behind him.

Entering the throne room, Corrin quickly assesses the situation. King Garon is in his true form, covered in slowly dripping slime and wielding his axe. Xander is lying prone, likely from just receiving a blow from said axe, with Laslow rushing to his side to help him up. Camilla is in the middle of standing up, her grip on her axe loose in readiness to defend, but not attack. Leo is the closest to the doors, Brynhildr gripped in one arm while the other is extended in preparation to use it’s magical energies, but there is a look of confliction on his face. Elise is the one closest to Garon and she calls out pitifully.

“Father! Why are you doing this? We’re your children!”

Garon’s focus turns to Elise and a mutated version of his voice rumbles out as he heads toward her, “Must. Destroy. Everyone.”

Elise doesn’t move, tears falling from her eyes and blocking her vision as Garon slowly raises his axe.

“Elise!” Leo calls, taking a few steps forward and finally channeling energy into his open hand. Corrin rushes past him and rams into Elise, sending them both tumbling. The axe strikes the ground, cracking it and sending vibrations through the floor that Corrin can feel.  ~~_ Xander steps in front of Corrin and raises Siegfried to block but he can’t hold against the Empty Vessel’s strength and the axe falls, spraying her with blood as his body hits the ground _ ~~

“Corrin?” Elise questions once she gains her own bearings.

Corrin says nothing, instead she roars as she transforms into a dragon and charges the Empty Vessel, ramming it with her horns. It staggers, but seems unaffected overall and swings its axe which Corrin barely manages to dodge.

“Big sister no! That’s our father!” Elise cries.

“King Garon is dead.” Corrin states. “He has been for a long time, this is just an empty puppet.” The empty vessel attacks again and it scrapes against Corrin’s side, causing her to grunt in pain. “If you care for Nohr at all, we must kill it.”

Elise’s face crumples in sadness but she nods and Corrin can feel the wound in her side close as Elise uses her healing magic. “If that’s the case, then I’ll support you big sis.”

With Elise joining the fight, Corrin can see the rest of her siblings gain resolve to kill the man that was once their father and join the battle. Laslow tries to fight as well, but Corrin stops him with her tail and tells him to protect Elise. With the help of her siblings the knowledge from fighting the empty vessel before, the being is easily weakened and brought to their knees. Corrin transforms back into her human shape and delivers the final blow with the Blazing Yato. The body dissipates and silence falls over the party.

“Goodbye, Father.” Camila whispers.

After a few more moments of quiet, Xander places a hand on Corrin’s shoulder and turns her around to face him. “Is it truly you, little princess?” He asks hopefully.

“I am Corrin, yes.”  ~~_ she no longer felt like a ‘little princess’ hadn’t felt so in a long time _ ~~

A smile breaks free of his face, but before he can pull her in for a hug Elise cuts in between them to hug Corrin herself, squealing happily. Corrin stands still for a few moments before placing her hands on Elise’s shoulders and extracting herself from her sibling’s embrace.

Corrin has barely pulled herself away from Elise when Leo asks her, almost accusingly, “That was you at Notre Sagesse, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.” Corrin answers.

Leo’s face turns to one of surprise, despite suspecting it was her, he didn’t expect such a blunt answer. He ignores his siblings demanding to know why he didn’t tell them he saw Corrin to ask, with a rare look of concern, “What happened to you, sister?”

Corrin doesn’t answer, not directly, instead she lets her eyes fall from his bangs to meet his red-brown eyes. 

Leo stiffens immediately and then begins twitching as if fighting the urge to flee. After a few seconds Corrin looks away and glances around at her other siblings who were looking at her with uncertainty and some wariness.  ~~_ Yes, this is me, this is who I’ve become _ ~~

“We should go.” Corrin says. “There is much to be done if you wish to establish peace.” Then she exits the room, not waiting to see if anyone follows her.

 

A few days later the Nohrian and Hoshidan Royals were meeting to make negotiations. The royals sat around a table while the retainers and Yukimura knelt at the edges of the room. The talks had already been going on for a day and despite Azura’s attempts to keep things calm, tensions were high. Corrin said nothing during the talks, staring off into space for most of it, waiting to see if her life would start over again. Her attention was brought back to the proceedings by Takumi standing up and violently slamming his fist on the table.

“You dare to think we’ll trust your talk of peace while your army sits outside our capital?” He shouted.

There was a few moments of silence while Takumi heaved.  ~~_ There would be a day, when Takumi would become a highly respected diplomat _ ~~

“A month.” Corrin intoned.

Everyone looked at her in surprise. “What did you say?” Azura asks.

“In a month Hoshido and Nohr will meet in Izumo to formulate a peace treaty.” Corrin continued. “Izumo is neutral territory that will not accept fighting and Duke Izana can preside over the negotiations. In a show of good faith Nohr will take their soldiers and return to their country.”

There’s a moment of silence as everyone takes in her words before they go back to arguing. This time on the exact details on how Corrin’s proposed plan would go, it takes several hours but eventually a plan is agreed on and everyone is dismissed. The Nohrians hurrying off to inform their troops, it would require a fast pace to get Nohrian presence out of Hoshido and still have time to meet in Izumo. The Hoshidans and Azura leave more slowly, calling Yukimura and starting on plans on how to rebuild the city so it could be habitable again

Corrin doesn’t go far, only to the balcony attached to the room. She places her hands on the railing and stares out at the sakura trees. It was so very long ago during her first loop when the sight of them had brought happy nostalgia. Now they only brought back memories of Ryoma and Takumi’s funeral pyres. 

~~_ and a child giggling happily as she and her husband boosts them onto the first tree branch _ ~~

“Hey there.” A voice calls from the balcony doorway

Corrin flinched, whether from the memory or the voice she wasn’t sure.

“A lovely lady such as yourself shouldn’t be alone.” Laslow continued, hands clasped behind his back.

Corrin doesn’t respond.

Undeterred, Laslow says, “Lord Xander would like to know if you will be accompanying him and your siblings back to Nohr.”

“No.” Corrin answers.

“Ah. Will you being staying with your Hoshidan family then?” He asks.

“I will not.” Is her reply.

Laslow shifts, uncertain. “Will be attending the negotiations in Izumo at all?”

“No.”

Laslow loses his formal stance and comes to stand next to Corrin at the railing, leans in and speaks to her gently. “You should go. Your siblings have missed you dearly while you were gone. They wish for you to be a part of the family again even if you are different from what they remember. And would love it if you were with them in Izumo.”

Corrin tightens her hands on the railing,  _~~she’s stuck in the Northern Fortress and her servants that once respected her treat her like her child, her siblings tread carefully around her and even trapped she hears the rumors of the insane princess living in a tower~~ _  “There’s no point in going.”

“Is anything I can say or do to get you to go?” Laslow asks.

Stepping away from the railing, Corrin turns toward Laslow. “Take me with you when you go back to your homeland.”

“What?!” He exclaims, nigh on jumping a foot into the air.

“Take me with you when you and your friends go back, and I’ll attend the negotiations in Izumo.” Corrin states.

“I can’t do that!” Laslow also steps back from the railing to face Corrin. “You’d have to say goodbye to your friends! Your family!”

“I know.”

“There’s no guarantee you’d be able to come back, are you alright with never seeing them again?” He demanded.

“Yes.”

Laslow stares at her in disbelief.

“Please Inigo.” Corrin says softly. Laslow’s eyes widen in shock but Corrin continues before he can respond. “I’m tired of this world. I’m tired of pretending. I wish to spend a lifetime in a place where I’m not obligated to make peace.”

There’s hesitation in Laslow’s eyes, but after a few moments he releases a long sigh. “Fine. I’ll discuss it with Odin and Selena. Then if you still want to leave after going to Izumo you can come with.”

Corrin manages a small sincere smile. “Thank you, Laslow.”

Finding no point in waiting around, Corrin heads straight for Izumo after the Nohrians leave. While she waits for people to show up she writes letters, which she entrusts to Kaze once he shows up.  ~~_ She wonders how he escaped Nohr but isn’t curious enough to ask _ ~~ She tells them to deliver them to the appropriate recipients when she’s gone for good. He has plenty of questions, but is too well trained to serve the Hoshidan royal family to ask them, which Corrin appreciates.

The discussions of alliance goes much the same way it does in other loops where Corrin stays alive to see it, even if she avoids giving any input this time. In the down time between the diplomacy meetings both her Hoshidon and Nohrian siblings, along with her servants from the Northern Fortress try to spend time with her while she actively avoids them. ~~_After she becomes Queen of Valla she sets time aside to explore Izumo’s sights with Ryoma, Hinoka, Takumi, Sakura and Azura. She will later visit Cyrkensia with her Nohrian siblings_~~ The time in Izumo made a small spark of appreciation for the Rainbow Sage appear in her heart. He always gave her plenty of time to be alone.

After the treaty is made up, half a year passes before she receives contact from Laslow that they are planning to leave. Once she does she uses an expensive teleport tome that she bought to go to Hoshido. She visits the statue of her mother, the first thing her siblings had built as a sign of hope for the future, and with all her strength Corrin stabs the Yato into the cobblestone near her Mother’s feet. 

She spends some time there, staring at the frozen image of her Mother’s face. If there was one thing she had regretted during the loops, it was never having the chance to grow up with her Mother. 

Corrin uses the teleport tome again and it takes her to the Bottomless Canyon before breaking apart to ash in her hands. Selena, Odin and Laslow stand outside an abandoned fort waiting for her. After a small greeting Odin pulls out a crystal the size of the his fist and takes in a deep breath. “Is everyone ready?” He asks. With a serious look, he waits for everyone to nod in confirmation before nodding himself. Odin then cradles the crystal in both hands and whispers. “Take us home.”

Everything turns white and Corrin feels like she’s floating. There’s some invisible force tugging on her, pulling her body one direction, but something is holding her in place. Like a thousand ropes wrapped all around her body keeping her lashed to a pole. The force becomes stronger and it feels like it’s yanking at her. A rope snaps and there’s an overwhelming feeling of pain, like millions of needles piercing her skin, of being boiled alive, like a piece of her life being torn away. A memory comes of the time in her first loop, of her choosing to side with Nohr and being oblivious of what was to come. Another rope snaps and there’s more pain and this time there’s a memory of her second loop, of choosing Hoshido in hopes of doing what’s right. More and more ropes snap bringing more pain and memories of her third, her fourth, her fifth loop and so on. With the flood of pain and memories, it takes Corrin awhile to realize the continuous high-pitched sound she hears is her screaming. The tugging force grows ever stronger until it becomes nigh unbearable when finally the last rope breaks. There is a dizzying feeling and a whirl of color and Corrin is standing on solid ground with Odin, Selena and Laslow nearby.

Corrin’s whole body is shaking and she collapses onto her hands and knees then promptly throws up into the grass. There are still tears streaming down her face from the pain, but Corrin can’t help it, she starts to laugh and laugh and laugh

Selena crouches down next to her and says in her abrasive way. “Hey, are you alright?”

There’s wheezing as Corrin catches her breath, and when she finally answers, it’s the truth. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Odin asks, uncertain. “We all arrived here at the same time, but it took you so long. We were worried you had ended up on some distant plane.”

Corrin spits to try and get rid of the taste of vomit, but then beams a smile up at Odin and Laslow. “Truly, I’m fine. Better than I’ve been in a long, long time in fact.” 

Corrin stands up, still a little shaky but she feels light, so light. A burden has been lifted from her shoulders and she feels completely rejuvenated. Laslow winks at her and says cheerily, “You look absolutely dazzling with that smile.”

“Thank you.” Corrin responds sincerely.

Selena rolls her eyes as she stands up. “Ugh, can we cut the chit-chat and start heading home already? I’m sure everyone missed us while we we’re gone.”

Odin grins. “Well then, lead on brave Severa!”

Severa smiles back. “Will do, Owain.”

 

 

 

The end is like this.

Corrin follows Inigo, Severa and Owain back to Ylisse. There she is greeted warmly and she starts to make a place there for herself as she gets a job and makes new friends. She lets herself fall in love again, starts up a family. The loops were real and Corrin doesn’t try to deny that, even though sometimes it’s hard and she finds herself breaking again, but her husband and her children are there to help hold her together. She told him about what happened to her and there’s so much understanding and empathy there that Corrin can’t help but fall in love with him again. 

What Corrin finds most important though, is that she relearns how to treat each moment like it’s special, like it’s one she’ll never see again. Hellos are an unexpected surprise and goodbyes are again filled with bittersweet sorrow. 

Years pass and Corrin and her husband grow old together. There’s a tearful goodbye as he passes away and it’s only a few days later when Corrin knows that her time has also come. She lies in her bed, surrounded by her family and she is at peace. She accepts that if what happened when she first came to this world meant nothing and her life starts over again at the Northern Fortress, she would make the most of each and every loop to bring happiness to others along with herself.

Corrin dies with a smile on her face.

She wakes up to the smile of her husband in the grassy field of the afterlife.


End file.
